It's been a month and a half since I've been me again... Hard to believe it. Seems like it's been forever, and at the same time, like it's barely been two weeks. So much has happened...

Genie. God, Genie. You're so... indescribable. It's still hard to admit that we're over... and hard to even think that Zach is good for you. I'll never believe it. He doesn't deserve a one dollar slut, much less you. Of course, I don't deserve you either... but I'm better than him.

But that didn't work out. Still don't know how. And I met Bridget. Well, not met her, but met up with her. And things kinda hit off there, but with Alistair... Fuck, I couldn't believe my luck in that. There was no way God could screw me over twice in a row like that. But it ended different. Bridget's different than Genie... And that vampire bloke is different than Zach. No way Bridget would ever date anyone like Zach. And now...

She's so different than the girls I usually date, but... Something about her reminds me so much of Jordan. Fuck, Jordan, what happened to you? Are you still even alive? I don't know if it's because of her sarcasm, or smarts, or... the way she can resist me. Only Jordan and Bridget have ever resisted me for this long.

Sunset mentioned I act different around Bridget. Didn't know what she meant until i thought about it. I don't flirt as much with her as I did Genie. Dunno if it's just cause I figure it won't work as well with her, or something else, but... just seems like it would come off as stupid or sleazy around her.

And during the bombing it was just like... fuck what happened to me and fuck everyone else, I just wanted to find Bridget and make sure she was okay and get her out of there before the damn roof caved in and we all died. And after the hospital and everything, I don't know why it pissed me off that she was still hurt...

Fuck. It's never good when I start thinking about why I do things. I need a drink.