Wonder where she always pops off to.

Have to ask her next time I see her. If she's 'round long enough for me to, anyway.

Still don't like that she sleeps in the ruddy park.



Fuckin' gobshite.

Sis and Bridget are gonna be pissed that I fought him - If you could call it a fight. - again. Don't care. Hate him too damn much to not fight him when I see him.

He's lucky I let him off easy.



One of these days, I'm gonna take somethin' of hers, and see how she likes runnin' 'round for it.

Knowin' her, she'd have fun.

The minx.



Damn it. One of these days, she might not pop off.

Forgot to ask her where she goes.

Somedays, can't help but feel really fuckin' useless. Wasn't able to stop the little punk who broke into Bridget's apartment, wasn't there to help Sunset at the damned ball... Maybe if I was actually places when things bloody happened, I'd be useful.

'Pparently, I'm gonna have to follow Bridget or Sunset everywhere they go.


That was - Fuck, I - Next time I see Poppet, I'm buyin' her something else. Don't know if I can ever thank her for this...

It''s not my fault. If Bri said, it's gotta be true. It's really not my fault.

Bridget - A 500 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble, becoming her personal mechanic and the Kylemore Claddagh Ring.
Sunset - Tree of Life Spirit Board
Angelika - Tickets to Spamalot, Wicked, and Chicago
Rich - Children's Tin Drum
Diego - Power Tour Electric Guitar
Calie - Power Tour Electric Guitar

God fucking damn it. Shoulda really thought this through before getting this damn piercing. Can't smoke. Can't drink. Can't kiss my fucking girlfriend.

Hands are shaking too much to distract myself with playing guitar. Can't go out and do something unless I wanna kill someone. Head hurts too much to watch any damn TV.

This withdrawal better pass soon. Can't see me lasting two weeks with this shit.

God. I don't wanna hear anythin' like that ever again.

I need to find new places to drink, 'pparently.

( 'Do you actually /have/ a rack in your home?' [Rene, Julien] )
Finally figured out what the hell Bridget did to get Zachery to leave. On one hand, m'highly amused, considerin'. (Along with a bit jealous, assumin' she had to feel me up a bit before actually goin' in for the kill. Wonder how willin' she'd be to do that otherwise.) One the other hand... it scares the hell outta me that she's got no problem putting my future youngin's in danger.

Got a few idea for what to get her for Christmas. One of 'em includes not talking about my 'daddy issues' considerin' they seem to do nothing but put her in not exactly a good mood.

( 'Well, being that you were stupid enough to let Jello-boy take over your body, I think I had the right to make it ache a little.' [Bridget] )


God, next two weeks are gonna be hell. This better be worth it, but I'm kinda regrettin' it, now that I can't smoke none. Drinkin' I don't need. Drinkin' don't help keep me from killin' morons everyday. All together at least. Nicotine helped with most of that.

Fuck. Better come up with a good excuse to not leave the apartment for the next two weeks. Unless I wanna go to jail, and that's somethin' I definitely don't fancy.

How do I know Bridget ain't gonna be all that thrilled with this?

( 'Jackson HollaohmygoshIalreadyknowyou.' [Jackson] )

Well, that was a bloody fuckin' ordeal. Dunno what the hell went on since yesterday, but once I can walk again What the bloody fuck did Bridget do to me? I'll be able to make sure I'm not wanted for murder or have any weird tattoos or piercings...

Bastard. I should fuckin' kill him. Nah. Let Sunset kill him. She'd do a better job of making it more painful than I ever could. Or mayeb find a flamethrower or make one of my own...

Wonder if Bridget knows how to make one.

Bridget... God, dunno how the hell that slipped out. But there was no use denying it afterwards, or trying to pretend I didn't say it. Might've been an accident, but that don't mean it wasn't still true. I love her. And even though she didn't say it back, I think she loves me too.

Been an eventful week. Moved out into my own place. Lost a guitarist. Found a even better guitarist. And Rich'll be able to play gigs soon. All in all, seems like my luck is finally shaping up.

Moved into Bridget's apartment buildin', up on the third floor. Ain't met any other neighbors yet, but it's not exactly like I'm wantin' too anyway. I'm fine with all the people I know now, and I ain't exactly gonna be tryin' to meet more. Sunset asked why I moved into a apartment in Hell's Kitchen when I coulda got a better place, but I prefer it here. I don't feel comfortable in a fancy place, and I'm sure I'm not wanted in many. Sides, the Kitchen's gotta lot of stuff I like.

Diego's about as much of a God send I've ever seen. She knocked out being our new guitarist and Angelika's new roommate. (I know she acts annoyed that I just told Diego she could live their without asking first, but I know she's happy about having a new roommate. She's not good at living alone.) With Diego learning the songs quick, and Rich being up for playing in a few weeks, we should be able to play shows soon.

'Bout damn time.

That little bastard better not have drank any of mine damn alcohol. I don't know what would be worse, the fact that he did drink some, or the fact that his mouth was on my bloody flask. I think they might even out.

Him running away with my liquor if is usually a killing offense, especially if I know that he'll come back, but I didn't need him tattlin' to Bridget and gettin' me in trouble. So I settled for a punch to the jaw and a kick to the gut.

Bridget got off a lot easier than he did. Course, I like her a lot more than him, and I'm datin' her. And I don't wanna piss her off.

I'm sure it's a terrifyin' thing.

( 'Holy crap, free drinks!' )

Fuckin' news. Fuckin' media hype. Fuckin' rioters.Damn it... I hate when I don't know if people are okay. My imagination is not a nice thing... And when I didn't know if Bridget was okay...

I hated that feeling. It's like someone took out my insides, put 'em in a blender, then put 'em back in. Jesus, I don't think I've ever felt that relieved before. She was alive, and not hurt, and I could fianlly feel like I wasn't gonna throw up at any moment.

I told her I'd do whatever she wanted if it got her to calm down. She said she wanted to spar, and I actually said okay. I didn't go all out or even halfway out for it. I let her win. Not that I really minded having her pinning me down.

She gave me a key to her apartment. I don't have one for mine, much less an extra... so I told her where the spare was hidden.

Saw a job at an auto shop on the way out of Clinton. Want in and asked about, since I figured I should finally get a job and get a place of my own. Once I do, I can give Bridget an actual key.

Can't believe he was there, and Bridget knew he was gonna be. Guess in a way, it's payback for before, but still... No matter what Bridget says, I can't trust him. Not after what happened last time... And that's a damn good reason, in my eyes.

Not until I'm dead sure he's out of the running. And even then...


I'm actually starting to enjoy running into Zachery... if only for the reason I get to injure him every time I do. Though this time, he had a friend helping him. That blond guy that lives down the hall... R something.

I slipped up. Almost blew it, and was close to having to either do some excellent bullshitting, or tell the truth. Sugarpants, what in hell Lucky for me, bloody Zachery showed up, and distracted whateverhisname is from making me explain. Got out of there before he could remember to ask again.

Zachery owes me a bloody lighter.


Bridget came by. Wanted to talk about that Hollis guy.

I called her Jordan, and damn if I didn't mean it when I did. Fuck. She's so much like her, but at the same time...

I told her not to track her down. She only joked about, but she can't. Jordan can't know about me. Especially now. Especially after how I left her.

I have a daughter. Jordan must have found out after the car crash, there's no way she'd keep that from me... Emily Hope Silveira. Born October 9th, 1984.

Damn it. I don't know what's worse not having a dad at all, or having a dad like mine. ...For all I know, she thinks someone else is her dad.

They can't find out about me. And Otto sure as hell can't find out about them. I'll be damned if I put Jordan and our child in danger just because they can be associated with me.

There must be a problem with me. I've gone one and a half months without sex ignoring the time without in Angelika's body. When I sleep in my girlfriend's bed, she's not in it, I still have clothes on, and no fun activities have happened before. Did I mention the no sex thing?

So why in hell am I not pushing for more than a date so far?

One day, I'm gonna drive that damn bike.

It's been a month and a half since I've been me again... Hard to believe it. Seems like it's been forever, and at the same time, like it's barely been two weeks. So much has happened...

Genie. God, Genie. You're so... indescribable. It's still hard to admit that we're over... and hard to even think that Zach is good for you. I'll never believe it. He doesn't deserve a one dollar slut, much less you. Of course, I don't deserve you either... but I'm better than him.

But that didn't work out. Still don't know how. And I met Bridget. Well, not met her, but met up with her. And things kinda hit off there, but with Alistair... Fuck, I couldn't believe my luck in that. There was no way God could screw me over twice in a row like that. But it ended different. Bridget's different than Genie... And that vampire bloke is different than Zach. No way Bridget would ever date anyone like Zach. And now...

She's so different than the girls I usually date, but... Something about her reminds me so much of Jordan. Fuck, Jordan, what happened to you? Are you still even alive? I don't know if it's because of her sarcasm, or smarts, or... the way she can resist me. Only Jordan and Bridget have ever resisted me for this long.

Sunset mentioned I act different around Bridget. Didn't know what she meant until i thought about it. I don't flirt as much with her as I did Genie. Dunno if it's just cause I figure it won't work as well with her, or something else, but... just seems like it would come off as stupid or sleazy around her.

And during the bombing it was just like... fuck what happened to me and fuck everyone else, I just wanted to find Bridget and make sure she was okay and get her out of there before the damn roof caved in and we all died. And after the hospital and everything, I don't know why it pissed me off that she was still hurt...

Fuck. It's never good when I start thinking about why I do things. I need a drink.