It's been a month and a half since I've been me again... Hard to believe it. Seems like it's been forever, and at the same time, like it's barely been two weeks. So much has happened...

Genie. God, Genie. You're so... indescribable. It's still hard to admit that we're over... and hard to even think that Zach is good for you. I'll never believe it. He doesn't deserve a one dollar slut, much less you. Of course, I don't deserve you either... but I'm better than him.

But that didn't work out. Still don't know how. And I met Bridget. Well, not met her, but met up with her. And things kinda hit off there, but with Alistair... Fuck, I couldn't believe my luck in that. There was no way God could screw me over twice in a row like that. But it ended different. Bridget's different than Genie... And that vampire bloke is different than Zach. No way Bridget would ever date anyone like Zach. And now...

She's so different than the girls I usually date, but... Something about her reminds me so much of Jordan. Fuck, Jordan, what happened to you? Are you still even alive? I don't know if it's because of her sarcasm, or smarts, or... the way she can resist me. Only Jordan and Bridget have ever resisted me for this long.

Sunset mentioned I act different around Bridget. Didn't know what she meant until i thought about it. I don't flirt as much with her as I did Genie. Dunno if it's just cause I figure it won't work as well with her, or something else, but... just seems like it would come off as stupid or sleazy around her.

And during the bombing it was just like... fuck what happened to me and fuck everyone else, I just wanted to find Bridget and make sure she was okay and get her out of there before the damn roof caved in and we all died. And after the hospital and everything, I don't know why it pissed me off that she was still hurt...

Fuck. It's never good when I start thinking about why I do things. I need a drink.

It's over. The break up. Whatever me and Genie have had. All of it's over. Which is good. Maybe now she'll forget me. Maybe I'll finally be able to forget her. Easier said than done since we have the same bloody boss. Forget her and go back ta being the bastard I was, if I can.

No way in hell am I goin' to that weddin'. I don't care if tha boss tells me ta or not. I ain't goin'.


( 'You/ are breaking up with /me?/' )

Sunset ain't lettin' me drink. Not today, at least. Thought holidays were meant for drinkin more not for Told me if I wanted to do something ta quit being mopey, go write a song or something. So I did.

Took me a while. I ain't wrote a song in a long time... Guess it was better than getting drunk, in the long run. Guess the song turned out okay, too. Lot more... weepy than I usually write, I guess, but at least it's a song.

No clue who it's about. Genie? Bridget? Or Angie and Sunset? ...Or all four? I hate when I write songs and don't know who tha hell they're about.


( Hello Lonely (Walk Away From This) )

She's engaged. Ta Zachery. It took forever ta get Angie ta tell me... She looked bloody terrified 'bout how I would react....

How am I reactin'? Hell if I know... I guess not as bad as they think I would've. Just walked away. Been in me room, actually thinkin' 'bout things.

She's engaged. But not ta me. Ta him. I lost... and it's not as surprisin' as I thought it would be. And it dun hurt like I thought it would. Least, not as much as I thought it would. Maybe it's just 'cause... It's like I already knew. Already knew, somehow, I wasn't gonna win. I met her last, and let's face it, just got tha type of body she wanted. How could I win with that?

Still, I at least figured I'd... I dunno, I'd have a bloody chance with her after I got back ta bein' meself. Dun now though. I dun try for taken women... Me one moral. Engaged and married birds are off tha table.

Can't act pissy 'bout this. She's happy. She's gotta be. Gotta go over and congratulate her... and end things with us, officially.

Then I'm gonna go out and get drunk outta me head again.

Woke up in tha guestroom. Hungover like there's no damn tomorrow. The girls aren't here. No clue where they are. At least they left some aspirin out.

God. What made me drink like that? Barely remember a damn thing about last night... What tha hell did I drink? ...Better yet, what tha hell did I do?

I got tha feeling somethin' bad happened. I must have did somethin'... Got my body now. That probably had something to do with it.

Gotta go see Genie, when this damn hangover goes away.

( 'I'm engaged.' )